1
00:00:11,367 --> 00:00:12,339
You sure about this?
2
00:00:13,499 --> 00:00:14,855
Yes, Gabrielle.
3
00:00:18,026 --> 00:00:19,926
OK, I'm gonna let you off here.
4
00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:24,479
I can't believe you
wanna to without me.
5
00:00:24,479 --> 00:00:25,709
I don't want to
go without you,
6
00:00:25,709 --> 00:00:26,637
but King Lias' message
7
00:00:26,637 --> 00:00:28,240
said the ceremony is tomorrow.
8
00:00:28,588 --> 00:00:29,650
I'll have to push Argo pretty hard
9
00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:31,053
to make it there myself.
10
00:00:31,053 --> 00:00:32,237
I can follow you.
11
00:00:32,237 --> 00:00:33,541
I'll get there a day later.
12
00:00:33,884 --> 00:00:34,441
Look--
13
00:00:34,441 --> 00:00:36,356
if they want you there for
security reasons, then
14
00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:38,347
maybe there's a bigger
probem than he's letting on.
15
00:00:38,347 --> 00:00:40,212
Gabrielle, relax.
16
00:00:40,212 --> 00:00:41,816
Enjoy yourself for
a couple o' days.
17
00:00:41,816 --> 00:00:43,648
I can handle this without you.
18
00:00:44,772 --> 00:00:45,691
Fine.
19
00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:47,600
Maybe there are a few
problems around here
20
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,257
that I can handle without you.
21
00:00:49,457 --> 00:00:50,522
Well, if there are, I'm sure
22
00:00:50,547 --> 00:00:52,053
you're up to
the challenge.
23
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,808
See you in a couple o' days.
24
00:00:55,870 --> 00:00:58,256
'I'm sure you're
up to the challenge.'
25
00:00:58,506 --> 00:01:01,022
How patronizing can you get?!
26
00:01:05,886 --> 00:01:07,365
Any time you're ready;
27
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,905
it's your funeral.
28
00:01:15,898 --> 00:01:16,991
You're next, Megalopolis.
29
00:01:17,194 --> 00:01:18,309
I'm gonna cut your
head off and feed
30
00:01:18,309 --> 00:01:19,350
it to the fishes!
31
00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:21,285
But first a special move
I'm gonna put on ya.
32
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,103
Hey, Joxer. You all right?
33
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,082
Great!
34
00:01:41,916 --> 00:01:44,218
I'm just listening to make
sure no giants tracked me.
35
00:01:47,599 --> 00:01:50,666
Yeah-- and-- they didn't.
36
00:01:52,447 --> 00:01:54,038
That's a load off my mind.
37
00:01:54,063 --> 00:01:55,297
Yeah-- oh, wait!
38
00:01:57,087 --> 00:01:58,176
Where's Xena?
39
00:01:58,401 --> 00:01:59,956
She's off being a hero.
40
00:02:00,309 --> 00:02:01,643
How come you're
not with her?
41
00:02:02,069 --> 00:02:03,445
'Cause I'm a sidekick--
42
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:04,445
obviously expendable,
43
00:02:04,470 --> 00:02:05,719
when push comes to shove.
44
00:02:06,057 --> 00:02:07,174
Wait, wait, wait!
45
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,214
That's great! Don't you get it?
46
00:02:10,681 --> 00:02:12,230
You're a sidekick without a hero.
47
00:02:12,558 --> 00:02:15,057
And I'm a hero without a sidekick.
48
00:02:15,963 --> 00:02:18,488
Of course. You're a hero.
49
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:20,839
A hero of what?
50
00:02:21,202 --> 00:02:23,936
I am Joxer the Mighty.
51
00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:26,076
I'm the greatest hero
that ever was.
52
00:02:28,806 --> 00:02:31,822
I'm Joxer the mighty;
he roams through the country--
53
00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:32,853
Joxer--
54
00:02:32,925 --> 00:02:34,455
I'm not in the mood for this.
55
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,166
What?
56
00:02:36,321 --> 00:02:37,277
You know--
57
00:02:37,527 --> 00:02:40,413
one day you'll realize
what it really means to be a hero.
58
00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:42,306
And then you'll change your tune.
59
00:02:42,306 --> 00:02:43,833
I am a hero.
60
00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:45,901
Look-- what would Xena
do in a situation like this?
61
00:02:46,257 --> 00:02:47,228
Like what?
62
00:02:47,228 --> 00:02:48,441
Like um--
63
00:02:48,441 --> 00:02:50,496
you know-- walking.
64
00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:54,445
Actually, she would
guard our rear.
65
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:56,695
She would?
66
00:02:57,171 --> 00:02:58,898
And she'd stay way
back to intercept
67
00:02:58,923 --> 00:03:00,459
anybody that
might follow us.
68
00:03:00,627 --> 00:03:02,032
Oh, 'cause like if we get
attacked from behind--
69
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,211
Ah, deadly.
70
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,553
So, I could fight, I could--
71
00:03:04,553 --> 00:03:05,713
Yeah-- yep.
72
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,799
Great. I'll stay right back here.
73
00:03:09,824 --> 00:03:12,754
Don't worry-- no one's
gonna get your rear.
74
00:03:13,635 --> 00:03:16,572
Cupid?! Where are you?
75
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:19,701
Yo, Mom-- What up?
76
00:03:22,717 --> 00:03:25,397
I have an overwhelming
sense of grodiness, Cupid.
77
00:03:25,397 --> 00:03:26,865
Why? What's the problem?
78
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,280
You did your gooey love
thing on Princess Ileandra and
79
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,708
Prince Sarpedon.
80
00:03:31,089 --> 00:03:33,065
Yeah-- they're a cooking
couple-- it's set.
81
00:03:33,090 --> 00:03:35,487
But their marriage will
unite their two kingdoms!
82
00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:36,790
Exactly.
83
00:03:36,949 --> 00:03:38,022
Look, get to the point, Mom.
84
00:03:38,047 --> 00:03:39,023
I'm real busy.
85
00:03:39,045 --> 00:03:42,246
Their fathers plan to dismantle
my temples that line the border.
86
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:43,925
If I lose those
temples, I'll have
87
00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:45,601
fewer than that
hagster, Athena.
88
00:03:45,797 --> 00:03:47,783
So you lose a few crummy temples!
89
00:03:47,808 --> 00:03:48,712
Big deal!
90
00:03:48,737 --> 00:03:49,721
This is love!
91
00:03:49,721 --> 00:03:51,362
That's way harsh, Cupid.
92
00:03:51,593 --> 00:03:53,633
I'm Aphrodite,
the goddess of love.
93
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,038
Temples are my kahunas--
94
00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:55,995
the way I know whether
95
00:03:55,995 --> 00:03:57,306
I'm happening or not.
96
00:03:57,306 --> 00:03:58,774
Now, I want you to
undo this thing.
97
00:03:58,774 --> 00:04:00,187
No way! They're eloping!
98
00:04:00,187 --> 00:04:01,609
It'll be over before you know it!
99
00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:04,343
Oh! This is so not fair!
100
00:04:06,918 --> 00:04:08,279
You're forcing me to get involved.
101
00:04:08,279 --> 00:04:10,097
- I am not!
- Yes you are!
102
00:04:10,097 --> 00:04:12,884
I can whip up a major
jealousy rage in no time.
103
00:04:13,428 --> 00:04:14,645
All I need is an accomplice.
104
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,179
You always do this!
105
00:04:16,415 --> 00:04:18,148
You're gonna find some hero, right?
106
00:04:18,148 --> 00:04:20,240
Like Theseus or Perseus--
107
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,721
throw your little
lust-spell on 'em,
108
00:04:21,721 --> 00:04:22,710
then, pow!
109
00:04:22,710 --> 00:04:23,832
They're your boy-toys.
110
00:04:23,832 --> 00:04:25,430
As if, Cupid.
111
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:26,721
I don't need a hero.
112
00:04:26,942 --> 00:04:27,860
I can do it with anyone.
113
00:04:28,097 --> 00:04:29,957
Anyone? I doubt it.
114
00:04:30,196 --> 00:04:32,244
Well, then, I guess it's time
for the goddess of love to
115
00:04:32,244 --> 00:04:33,459
prove to her son just
116
00:04:33,459 --> 00:04:34,976
how powerful she can be.
117
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:36,268
You name the dude--
118
00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:37,252
I'll work with him.
119
00:04:40,222 --> 00:04:41,299
Anyone, huh?
120
00:04:41,653 --> 00:04:42,685
Anyone.
121
00:04:46,434 --> 00:04:48,800
No one's gonna get me from
behind if I walk backwards.
122
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,596
Yeah, guard, guard, guard--
guard, guard
123
00:04:54,801 --> 00:04:56,445
Hi, there, studmuffin.
124
00:04:58,753 --> 00:05:00,271
I mean you, big guy.
125
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:05,804
I need a strong warrior
type to do me a favor.
126
00:05:06,495 --> 00:05:07,720
I'd be ever so grateful.
127
00:05:10,497 --> 00:05:12,559
Take this to Princess Ileandra.
128
00:05:12,584 --> 00:05:13,537
Ileandra.
129
00:05:13,562 --> 00:05:15,333
- It's a wedding present.
- Present.
130
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:17,763
Make sure you
deliver it personally.
131
00:05:17,788 --> 00:05:18,943
Oh, OK.
132
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:22,871
Don't worry.
133
00:05:22,896 --> 00:05:23,958
I won't let you down.
134
00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:28,303
Hey-- you're Aphrodite,
aren't you?
135
00:05:33,483 --> 00:05:35,185
Don't worry, I'll bring it!
136
00:05:53,028 --> 00:05:53,993
No.
137
00:06:17,184 --> 00:06:18,558
Break her in half.
138
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:28,633
Blood, valor, and victory!
139
00:06:49,023 --> 00:06:50,259
Here you go!
140
00:06:55,243 --> 00:06:56,848
Watch that step.
141
00:07:28,201 --> 00:07:29,919
He's so strong.
142
00:07:31,738 --> 00:07:33,179
You saved us.
143
00:07:33,392 --> 00:07:34,408
My hero.
144
00:07:36,104 --> 00:07:37,995
My sword is always ready
145
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:40,323
to pleasure you, my lady.
146
00:07:40,348 --> 00:07:42,632
He's so good-looking.
147
00:07:58,829 --> 00:08:00,982
In a time of ancient gods...
148
00:08:03,329 --> 00:08:04,842
...warlords...
149
00:08:04,877 --> 00:08:06,374
...and kings...
150
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:09,943
A land in turmoil
cried out for a hero...
151
00:08:19,148 --> 00:08:20,981
She was Xena...
152
00:08:21,654 --> 00:08:25,450
a mighty princess,
forged in the heat of battle...
153
00:08:29,822 --> 00:08:31,004
...The power...
154
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,010
...The passion...
155
00:08:37,419 --> 00:08:38,597
...The danger...
156
00:08:44,122 --> 00:08:46,691
Her courage will
change the world...
157
00:08:47,715 --> 00:08:51,215
For Him the Bell Tolls
158
00:08:52,022 --> 00:08:53,320
Ladies, please, please.
159
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,376
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
160
00:08:55,484 --> 00:08:56,780
He's mine, Sister.
161
00:08:57,564 --> 00:08:58,800
Please--
162
00:08:58,800 --> 00:08:59,893
each of you is like a--
163
00:08:59,893 --> 00:09:01,796
rose in the garden of life.
164
00:09:02,828 --> 00:09:05,195
I've come to sample the
fragrance of but one.
165
00:09:05,955 --> 00:09:07,014
Who? Who?
166
00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:09,300
Princess Ileandra.
167
00:09:09,325 --> 00:09:11,677
Me-- that's me.
168
00:09:11,702 --> 00:09:13,245
I'm Princess Ileandra.
169
00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:15,425
Then I have a gift for you.
170
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,608
It's golden finish is but a
171
00:09:19,608 --> 00:09:20,904
dim glimmer of the shimmering
172
00:09:20,904 --> 00:09:22,765
radiance of your cream-like skin.
173
00:09:22,765 --> 00:09:24,231
Put it on, quick.
174
00:09:28,547 --> 00:09:29,405
Joxer.
175
00:09:29,994 --> 00:09:30,905
That was amazing.
176
00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:32,105
What has gotten into you?
177
00:09:33,668 --> 00:09:34,838
I don't know.
178
00:09:34,863 --> 00:09:36,683
protecting your rear and uh--
179
00:09:37,045 --> 00:09:39,294
ah, dya-- where am I?
180
00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:40,451
Say that thing again--
181
00:09:40,451 --> 00:09:41,871
about my skin and cream.
182
00:09:41,871 --> 00:09:43,473
Cream and-- skin?
183
00:09:43,498 --> 00:09:44,309
What?
184
00:09:45,215 --> 00:09:46,289
I don't know--
185
00:09:46,314 --> 00:09:47,671
who I am, anymore.
186
00:09:49,293 --> 00:09:50,949
Thank the gods you
two arrived when you did.
187
00:09:51,222 --> 00:09:52,797
I'm Princess Ileandra of Mylon.
188
00:09:52,822 --> 00:09:53,863
I'm Gabrielle.
189
00:09:54,190 --> 00:09:54,989
Where are you headed?
190
00:09:54,989 --> 00:09:55,755
Pyros--
191
00:09:55,755 --> 00:09:56,970
I'm going to elope
with my betrothed,
192
00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:58,158
Prince Sarpedon.
193
00:09:58,582 --> 00:09:59,488
Romantic.
194
00:09:59,488 --> 00:10:01,989
Romantic, yes-- practical, no.
195
00:10:02,482 --> 00:10:03,502
I had no idea it was so
196
00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:04,964
dangerous outside of the castle.
197
00:10:05,417 --> 00:10:06,836
Would-- you go with us?
198
00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:07,971
I'd be so grateful.
199
00:10:07,971 --> 00:10:10,015
After all, you two
did save our lives.
200
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,132
That is the guy
who saved us, isn't it?
201
00:10:19,427 --> 00:10:20,718
That's Joxer.
202
00:10:20,759 --> 00:10:21,847
He saved you.
203
00:10:23,143 --> 00:10:24,221
I did?
204
00:10:26,816 --> 00:10:27,747
I mean--
205
00:10:27,772 --> 00:10:31,142
I did-- I did.
Yes-- umm-- sure,
206
00:10:31,142 --> 00:10:32,084
there must have been,
207
00:10:32,084 --> 00:10:33,227
uh-- twenty of them--
208
00:10:33,908 --> 00:10:36,318
or more-- or less.
209
00:10:37,509 --> 00:10:38,611
Whatever it was, I, you know--
210
00:10:38,636 --> 00:10:40,472
I-- I tore 'em apart with
my bare hands, so--
211
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:43,165
So-- will you help us?
212
00:10:43,837 --> 00:10:46,315
Ah, Joxer-- are you up to this?
213
00:10:46,673 --> 00:10:47,787
Of course, of course,
214
00:10:47,787 --> 00:10:48,971
it's all coming back to me, now.
215
00:10:48,971 --> 00:10:50,632
They had cross-bows, right?
216
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:55,126
I mean cata-- catapults? Chariots?
217
00:10:55,727 --> 00:10:56,613
Whatever-- I mean,
218
00:10:56,613 --> 00:10:58,024
I was very fierce when I--
219
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,915
when I took them
out and-- listen,
220
00:10:59,915 --> 00:11:01,396
as far as your
skin is concerned-- ah,
221
00:11:01,396 --> 00:11:03,540
it reminds me of-- cream--
222
00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:04,732
just before it curdles--
223
00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:06,664
'cause that's
when it's the best.
224
00:11:14,155 --> 00:11:16,663
There's nothing like a wedding
to bring two families together.
225
00:11:16,984 --> 00:11:18,269
To you, Linius.
226
00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:20,037
And peace to both our kingdoms.
227
00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:21,893
And you, Baris.
228
00:11:22,221 --> 00:11:23,814
Peace between our kingdoms.
229
00:11:25,346 --> 00:11:27,215
It's a done deal,
Mom-- Give it up.
230
00:11:27,765 --> 00:11:29,361
It's been a long time coming.
231
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,344
Now, to rid ourselves of
232
00:11:31,344 --> 00:11:32,890
these pesky temples to Aphrodite.
233
00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:34,766
Pesky!
234
00:11:35,436 --> 00:11:36,399
This one on your
235
00:11:36,424 --> 00:11:38,548
land blocks my view of the river.
236
00:11:40,127 --> 00:11:41,824
Who would wanna
look at a stupid river,
237
00:11:41,824 --> 00:11:43,375
when you could look at me?
238
00:11:43,717 --> 00:11:45,106
Tell him, Linius.
239
00:11:46,813 --> 00:11:47,731
Done.
240
00:11:47,731 --> 00:11:49,957
I've always thought
this one was ugly.
241
00:11:50,344 --> 00:11:51,659
Ugly?!
242
00:11:52,395 --> 00:11:54,361
Hey, show some class, Mom.
243
00:11:54,525 --> 00:11:56,709
You can't always have
everything your way.
244
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,092
King Linius.
245
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:04,514
It pains me to reveal this.
246
00:12:04,514 --> 00:12:05,355
But I feel it my duty
247
00:12:05,355 --> 00:12:07,066
as a lady of honor to inform you.
248
00:12:07,066 --> 00:12:08,409
I know what you're gonna say.
249
00:12:08,671 --> 00:12:09,670
They're eloping.
250
00:12:09,670 --> 00:12:10,607
What?!
251
00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:14,031
Yes-- my spies are more
effective than yours, my friend.
252
00:12:14,390 --> 00:12:15,564
Don't be alarmed.
253
00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:18,408
It'll just save us the expense
of a wedding banquet.
254
00:12:19,487 --> 00:12:21,628
Yes-- yes-- good.
255
00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:24,127
Careful, Cupid.
256
00:12:24,629 --> 00:12:25,658
You know I always win.
257
00:12:25,658 --> 00:12:27,583
It's not the elopement I speak of.
258
00:12:27,583 --> 00:12:29,006
I saw Princess Ileandra
259
00:12:29,006 --> 00:12:30,391
in the arms of another man--
260
00:12:31,336 --> 00:12:32,752
a gallant warrior named Joxer.
261
00:12:32,777 --> 00:12:33,477
Nonsense!
262
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:34,553
Take it back, woman!
263
00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:35,477
Oh, it's true.
264
00:12:35,477 --> 00:12:36,895
My friend saw it, too.
265
00:12:36,895 --> 00:12:38,831
Then I withdraw my approval
from the marriage!
266
00:12:38,831 --> 00:12:41,443
I can't have my son
marrying a harlot!
267
00:12:41,443 --> 00:12:42,753
Who are you calling a harlot?!
268
00:12:42,753 --> 00:12:44,426
This is vicious slander!
269
00:12:44,426 --> 00:12:45,176
Perhaps--
270
00:12:45,176 --> 00:12:47,847
but I'm stopping all negotiations
till we get to the bottom of this.
271
00:12:47,847 --> 00:12:51,584
No! I'm stopping all negotiations
until I get to the bottom of this!
272
00:12:56,773 --> 00:12:58,677
Lust versus love.
273
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,428
You're just over
your head, sonny.
274
00:13:00,706 --> 00:13:01,677
How could you do that?!
275
00:13:01,677 --> 00:13:02,959
That's way not fair!
276
00:13:02,959 --> 00:13:03,850
All right--
277
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,494
I suggest we continue
this conversation when
278
00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,838
we've both mellowed.
279
00:13:07,651 --> 00:13:08,706
I'm outta here.
280
00:13:18,151 --> 00:13:19,403
Oh, I guess I love
Sarpedon because
281
00:13:19,428 --> 00:13:20,556
he's the most caring,
282
00:13:20,581 --> 00:13:22,784
loving, sensitive man you
ever want to meet.
283
00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:23,733
He's also--
284
00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:25,208
the luckiest man in the world.
285
00:13:27,338 --> 00:13:28,217
I guess that's--
286
00:13:28,217 --> 00:13:29,877
that's Prince Sarpedon.
287
00:13:33,221 --> 00:13:34,921
What's he got that I haven't got?
288
00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:38,549
Well, Princess Ileandra
for starters, and-- muscles.
289
00:13:38,791 --> 00:13:40,174
OK, OK, OK.
290
00:13:42,838 --> 00:13:44,507
I'd like you to
meet my new friends.
291
00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:45,940
This is Gabrielle and--
292
00:13:46,489 --> 00:13:47,879
what was your name again?
293
00:13:47,879 --> 00:13:50,610
Joxer, for the tenth time.
294
00:13:50,635 --> 00:13:53,203
Right-- they escorted
us safely here.
295
00:13:53,454 --> 00:13:54,618
I thank you.
296
00:13:55,503 --> 00:13:57,146
Yes, thank you for everything.
297
00:13:57,146 --> 00:13:58,837
I'm glad we could
bring you together.
298
00:13:59,549 --> 00:14:00,672
Bye-bye.
299
00:14:01,617 --> 00:14:03,706
Don't you just
love happy endings?
300
00:14:03,706 --> 00:14:05,269
Yeah-- but just once,
301
00:14:05,269 --> 00:14:07,456
I'd like to have a happy ending.
302
00:14:13,681 --> 00:14:14,568
Wait a minute.
303
00:14:14,568 --> 00:14:16,645
You're saying I fought
all of them and won?
304
00:14:16,949 --> 00:14:19,120
Yes-- maybe you hit your head,
305
00:14:19,145 --> 00:14:20,601
and that's why you can't remember.
306
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,463
I don't think so.
307
00:14:23,586 --> 00:14:25,911
I think it was more
like a warrior haze.
308
00:14:26,823 --> 00:14:28,040
A warrior haze?
309
00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:29,798
Yeah-- you know?
310
00:14:29,859 --> 00:14:31,026
OK-- enemy's coming at you;
311
00:14:31,026 --> 00:14:31,940
heart's pounding;
312
00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:32,783
your muscles are flexing.
313
00:14:32,783 --> 00:14:34,302
Then your mind shuts down
314
00:14:34,302 --> 00:14:35,791
and lets your body take over.
315
00:14:36,324 --> 00:14:39,455
Right. Well, you
seem fine, Joxer.
316
00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:42,355
And Ileandra's with Sarpedon.
317
00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:43,660
So I guess all's well
that ends well.
318
00:14:43,685 --> 00:14:45,761
Yoo-hoo! Joxer--
319
00:14:46,982 --> 00:14:48,569
over here.
320
00:14:50,105 --> 00:14:52,046
You disappoint me, Joxer.
321
00:14:52,357 --> 00:14:55,058
I thought you'd cruise the
hero wave with the happy couple.
322
00:14:55,438 --> 00:14:58,789
You know make sure
they get home safely.
323
00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:00,902
Wait a minute.
324
00:15:01,182 --> 00:15:04,242
You mean, Sarpedon and
Ileandra need my help?
325
00:15:04,552 --> 00:15:07,975
Duh! Oh, and one other thing--
326
00:15:12,782 --> 00:15:16,331
Your beauty inspires me
to do the manliest of deeds.
327
00:15:22,151 --> 00:15:24,276
I am so good;
328
00:15:24,847 --> 00:15:26,813
but when I'm bad, I'm better.
329
00:15:37,087 --> 00:15:38,689
I'm so happy to be with you.
330
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:40,371
I never wanna leave.
331
00:15:40,371 --> 00:15:43,919
Well-- why don't we
just get married now?
332
00:15:44,905 --> 00:15:45,604
Here?
333
00:15:45,604 --> 00:15:47,844
Sure-- the gods
are smiling on us.
334
00:15:47,869 --> 00:15:49,587
Our friends are here.
Why not?
335
00:15:49,587 --> 00:15:51,595
But we need a priest
to bless our union.
336
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:56,921
Yeah. Would, um
that one there do?
337
00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,735
Oh, Sarpedon-- yes.
338
00:16:03,816 --> 00:16:05,590
Your eyes speak of desire.
339
00:16:05,868 --> 00:16:07,768
Your lips of ecstasy.
340
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:08,929
Hi, Joxer.
341
00:16:08,929 --> 00:16:09,838
Sarpedon.
342
00:16:11,149 --> 00:16:12,315
You ready, my beloved?
343
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,714
Ecstasy.
344
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,053
Soon, my darling, soon.
345
00:16:18,069 --> 00:16:21,073
Ileandra-- I have waited so long
346
00:16:21,073 --> 00:16:22,358
for this moment, I can barely--
347
00:16:22,383 --> 00:16:23,202
Joxer!
348
00:16:23,945 --> 00:16:25,297
There you are.
349
00:16:26,383 --> 00:16:27,414
Sorry.
350
00:16:29,305 --> 00:16:30,662
Ileandra, my love--
351
00:16:31,727 --> 00:16:33,587
I tell you from the
depths of my soul,--
352
00:16:34,806 --> 00:16:35,969
I love you.
353
00:16:36,687 --> 00:16:37,592
I love you--
354
00:16:38,306 --> 00:16:41,417
not you-- him.
355
00:16:53,265 --> 00:16:55,106
Ileandra! What is
the meaning of this?!
356
00:16:55,967 --> 00:16:57,433
I think it's as obvious as the--
357
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,749
deep azure which sparkles
358
00:16:58,749 --> 00:17:00,353
in my lady's eyes.
359
00:17:01,151 --> 00:17:04,050
Ileandra-- has made her choice.
360
00:17:04,075 --> 00:17:06,090
How dare you come between us?
361
00:17:07,118 --> 00:17:08,667
Joxer, cut it out!
362
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:09,745
Gabrielle--
363
00:17:09,891 --> 00:17:12,200
a man must do
what a man must do.
364
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:21,993
You will not take
Ileandra from me.
365
00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:32,246
You fight with passion,
my friend-- I like that.
366
00:17:32,855 --> 00:17:34,351
It's too bad you have no skill.
367
00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:47,768
This necklace--
368
00:17:47,793 --> 00:17:49,320
is it a gift from you?
369
00:17:49,964 --> 00:17:51,054
A trinket--
370
00:17:51,054 --> 00:17:54,185
most unworthy of
my Ileandra's beauty.
371
00:17:57,297 --> 00:17:58,198
Where?
372
00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:00,409
Who are the-- Gaby?
373
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,762
No! Stop! Wait!
374
00:18:04,762 --> 00:18:05,952
What's the problem?!
375
00:18:06,965 --> 00:18:10,083
You dare to ask me that, after
giving Ileandra a gift of love?
376
00:18:10,108 --> 00:18:11,549
Gift-- this?
377
00:18:11,789 --> 00:18:13,405
Here-- take it!
378
00:18:15,738 --> 00:18:17,692
You tangle with the
wrong man, my friend.
379
00:18:29,582 --> 00:18:31,106
Go home, gallant boy--
380
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:37,372
for your only crime is
that you love too well.
381
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,515
Oh, you set me on fire.
382
00:18:53,648 --> 00:18:54,875
I know.
383
00:19:00,189 --> 00:19:01,350
That sucks.
384
00:19:02,364 --> 00:19:03,452
Well, you've done it, Mom.
385
00:19:03,678 --> 00:19:04,885
You've managed
to mess up yet
386
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,597
another one of my
perfect matches.
387
00:19:06,925 --> 00:19:09,168
How can you call yourself
the goddess of love?
388
00:19:09,193 --> 00:19:11,798
Oh, get a grip, Cupie!
389
00:19:12,409 --> 00:19:14,427
Love isn't just about
happy endings.
390
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:18,442
There's also jealous love,
and-- unrequited love,
391
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:19,672
and tragic love.
392
00:19:20,271 --> 00:19:21,998
And when you strip
away all the tinsel,
393
00:19:21,998 --> 00:19:24,370
it's really just about
hormones, isn't it?
394
00:19:26,783 --> 00:19:29,514
Don't frown--
it'll give you lines.
395
00:19:33,653 --> 00:19:35,437
No, no, no! No, look!
396
00:19:35,747 --> 00:19:37,278
I don't-- I don't know
what's going on--
397
00:19:37,278 --> 00:19:38,807
whether it's some sort
of sickness or something.
398
00:19:38,807 --> 00:19:40,037
But I'm gonna find out.
399
00:19:40,571 --> 00:19:41,400
And I'm gonna take you back
400
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,496
to the man that you love.
401
00:19:42,496 --> 00:19:43,420
I'm with the man I love.
402
00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:44,718
Can't you just leave us alone?
403
00:19:44,885 --> 00:19:47,367
We'll set the world
aflame with our passion.
404
00:19:49,285 --> 00:19:50,646
Don't fight the heart, Gabrielle.
405
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:52,740
It's a powerful little muscle.
406
00:19:54,144 --> 00:19:55,623
I want to become one with you.
407
00:19:56,046 --> 00:19:57,316
Can't we lose your sidekick?
408
00:19:57,793 --> 00:19:59,022
Sure.
409
00:19:59,639 --> 00:20:01,212
I think I'm gonna be sick.
410
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:03,600
And you allowed
this man to disarm you--
411
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:04,612
and steal Ileandra?
412
00:20:04,612 --> 00:20:05,812
He was an excellent
swordsman, Father.
413
00:20:05,812 --> 00:20:07,204
Perhaps even better than you.
414
00:20:08,887 --> 00:20:10,576
He must be a hired man.
415
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:12,529
Perhaps King Baris didn't favor
416
00:20:12,529 --> 00:20:13,876
your marriage, after all.
417
00:20:13,876 --> 00:20:15,003
He was fierce and passionate.
418
00:20:15,003 --> 00:20:16,976
A man like that can't be bought.
419
00:20:16,976 --> 00:20:18,559
Can you be certain of that?
420
00:20:20,902 --> 00:20:22,045
We will attack at dawn.
421
00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:23,123
No!
422
00:20:25,911 --> 00:20:27,911
Ileandra went
with him willingly.
423
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,950
She has feelings for this warrior.
424
00:20:32,341 --> 00:20:34,090
She's made her choice.
425
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:36,901
I'm not gonna stand
in the way of her happiness.
426
00:20:48,616 --> 00:20:49,957
Prepare the men!
427
00:20:50,427 --> 00:20:52,421
For an attack on Baris' kingdom?
428
00:20:52,446 --> 00:20:54,200
No, for an all-out search--
429
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,866
for the warrior named-- Joxer.
430
00:20:56,866 --> 00:20:57,813
Yes, sir.
431
00:21:02,482 --> 00:21:04,685
No one humiliates my son--
432
00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:06,623
and gets away with it!
433
00:21:07,622 --> 00:21:09,083
Now, let's go over this again.
434
00:21:09,522 --> 00:21:10,951
I already told you--
435
00:21:11,263 --> 00:21:12,814
I know nothing of
this bumbling idiot
436
00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:13,780
of whom you speak.
437
00:21:13,780 --> 00:21:14,873
I am the one and only Joxer.
438
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:15,859
Isn't he magnificent?
439
00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:18,643
Ileandra-- Joxer--
440
00:21:19,197 --> 00:21:20,023
look!
441
00:21:21,342 --> 00:21:23,518
Now--it has something to
do with the necklace.
442
00:21:23,835 --> 00:21:25,396
Every time it rings, you change.
443
00:21:26,842 --> 00:21:28,341
How about some cold water?
444
00:21:29,654 --> 00:21:31,120
This is ridiculous.
445
00:21:32,557 --> 00:21:34,216
Don't touch her, Joxer.
446
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:46,993
Cut it out!
447
00:21:58,019 --> 00:21:59,154
Come here.
448
00:22:07,312 --> 00:22:09,284
Guys, stop it!
449
00:22:10,861 --> 00:22:12,409
I've had enough of-- oh!
450
00:22:12,612 --> 00:22:14,517
It's gonna be a long night.
451
00:22:14,865 --> 00:22:16,901
Oh, this is so sick!
452
00:22:24,387 --> 00:22:26,105
He never needs a
place to hide--
453
00:22:26,105 --> 00:22:28,629
with Gaby as his sidekick.
454
00:22:28,629 --> 00:22:30,105
Sire, we'll find him!
455
00:22:32,106 --> 00:22:33,581
Sounds like a small army.
456
00:22:43,041 --> 00:22:44,526
It's probably King Linius.
457
00:22:44,758 --> 00:22:47,135
He'll be furious I cancelled my
wedding with Sarpedon.
458
00:22:47,898 --> 00:22:48,997
Don't be afraid, my love.
459
00:22:49,325 --> 00:22:50,526
Ileandra's right.
460
00:22:51,072 --> 00:22:51,915
They're looking for someone.
461
00:22:52,935 --> 00:22:53,373
Now, come on--
462
00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:54,905
maybe we can find
another way out of here.
463
00:22:55,263 --> 00:22:56,484
You're not suggesting
we run, are you?
464
00:22:57,259 --> 00:22:58,495
Have you got a better idea?
465
00:22:59,930 --> 00:23:01,492
We stand and fight.
466
00:23:01,492 --> 00:23:03,747
Joxer-- I don't think that's wise.
467
00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:07,094
Whatever happens--
our love will never die.
468
00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:09,759
No, but he might.
469
00:23:28,379 --> 00:23:29,534
Hold up!
470
00:23:30,661 --> 00:23:34,469
Look no further-- I am Joxer.
471
00:23:35,644 --> 00:23:37,233
Stay together!
472
00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:39,747
He's a dangerous man. Forward!
473
00:23:42,876 --> 00:23:48,597
Come! Your destiny lies
at the point of my sword.
474
00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:54,930
Joxer, what are you doing?
475
00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:58,312
Don't be a fool.
476
00:24:01,224 --> 00:24:02,622
Oh, sold--
477
00:24:09,118 --> 00:24:10,178
Joxer!
478
00:24:13,126 --> 00:24:14,637
Take them back to Amphis
479
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:16,708
They're to be executed for
threatening the peace.
480
00:24:16,708 --> 00:24:19,160
Wait! They're my friends.
481
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,331
You're lucky I don't sentence
you to the same fate--
482
00:24:22,331 --> 00:24:23,642
you harlot!
Take them!
483
00:24:27,002 --> 00:24:28,036
Joxer!
484
00:24:28,653 --> 00:24:29,746
Up you go!
485
00:24:30,732 --> 00:24:31,646
Joxer!
486
00:24:34,831 --> 00:24:35,873
It was all a mistake.
487
00:24:35,873 --> 00:24:37,403
Yes, and the mistake was yours.
488
00:24:37,428 --> 00:24:38,881
You toyed with my
son's heart when
489
00:24:38,906 --> 00:24:40,498
all the while, you
loved another.
490
00:24:40,498 --> 00:24:42,230
Please, King Linius,
let me try to explain.
491
00:24:42,255 --> 00:24:44,066
Don't bother!
You obviously chose that
492
00:24:44,090 --> 00:24:45,276
Joxer over Sarpedon.
493
00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:47,329
I won't let my
son be humiliated this way!
494
00:24:47,354 --> 00:24:49,427
Wow-- did you hear that?
495
00:24:49,721 --> 00:24:51,565
Ileandra's really
in love with me.
496
00:24:52,209 --> 00:24:54,572
She chose me over Sarpedon.
497
00:24:55,201 --> 00:24:56,413
No, Joxer.
498
00:24:57,012 --> 00:24:59,242
She chose the other
one the other Joxer.
499
00:24:59,647 --> 00:25:02,022
The one who just stupidly beat
Sarpedon in Battle,
500
00:25:02,022 --> 00:25:04,365
and then romanced Ileandra
from under his nose.
501
00:25:04,699 --> 00:25:06,947
Wow, I really did that.
502
00:25:07,471 --> 00:25:09,230
No wonder they put
me in these chains.
503
00:25:09,230 --> 00:25:11,097
There's no telling
what I might do!
504
00:25:11,122 --> 00:25:13,377
Wow, this warrior haze
is really great.
505
00:25:13,402 --> 00:25:14,635
I'm gonna put myself
under again.
506
00:25:17,687 --> 00:25:18,641
Knock it off!
507
00:25:20,137 --> 00:25:21,621
You can't control it, Joxer.
508
00:25:22,174 --> 00:25:24,986
You're under some sort of--
hypnotic spell, or something.
509
00:25:25,239 --> 00:25:27,118
Any bell ringing transforms you.
510
00:25:27,118 --> 00:25:28,329
Not just the necklace.
511
00:25:29,765 --> 00:25:30,681
Where did you get it?
512
00:25:30,926 --> 00:25:31,971
I don't remember.
513
00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:33,432
Well, think about it.
514
00:25:33,955 --> 00:25:36,103
Did anything unusual happen
to you that morning?
515
00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:39,846
I woke up, and I ate breakfast.
516
00:25:40,179 --> 00:25:40,992
After that?
517
00:25:43,995 --> 00:25:45,177
Yeah, I, ah--
518
00:25:45,202 --> 00:25:47,823
found you-- um-- guarded your rear,
519
00:25:47,867 --> 00:25:49,445
met Aphrodite, had a pomegranite--
520
00:25:49,445 --> 00:25:50,470
it had a lot of seeds.
521
00:25:50,470 --> 00:25:51,801
- I don't like the kind with--
- Wait a minute.
522
00:25:51,801 --> 00:25:53,302
Did you say you met Aphrodite?
523
00:25:53,302 --> 00:25:55,284
Yeah-- she was hot, too.
524
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,626
Well, she must want to break up
Ileandra and Sarpedon.
525
00:25:59,651 --> 00:26:01,420
And she's using you to do it.
526
00:26:02,268 --> 00:26:03,775
I'm gonna find her.
527
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,672
Hey! I know what you're gonna do.
528
00:26:05,697 --> 00:26:07,000
You're gonna find a bell to ring,
529
00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:09,073
so I can get out of
these chains, aren't you?
530
00:26:09,732 --> 00:26:10,698
No, no, no.
531
00:26:10,723 --> 00:26:12,179
No-- you're becoming a super-sexy
532
00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:14,050
warrior is what got
us into this mess.
533
00:26:14,967 --> 00:26:16,649
I'm disappointed in you, Gabrielle.
534
00:26:16,674 --> 00:26:17,626
What?
535
00:26:18,739 --> 00:26:19,863
I think you're jealous.
536
00:26:19,863 --> 00:26:21,416
I can understand that.
I mean--
537
00:26:21,441 --> 00:26:23,308
you wanna be the hero so bad,
538
00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:24,619
you can't stand the thought of me
539
00:26:24,644 --> 00:26:25,717
saving the day.
540
00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:30,476
Gabrielle, there's nothing
wrong with being a sidekick.
541
00:26:30,658 --> 00:26:31,816
Glad you like it, Joxer.
542
00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:33,165
You'll make a great sidekick.
543
00:26:33,165 --> 00:26:35,035
Just-- hang in there
and keep the faith.
544
00:26:35,035 --> 00:26:37,870
I'm not a sidekick; I'm a hero!
545
00:26:42,114 --> 00:26:43,637
Joxer the Mighty
546
00:26:43,662 --> 00:26:45,500
roams through the countryside,
547
00:26:45,525 --> 00:26:47,634
he never needs a place to hide.
548
00:26:47,659 --> 00:26:49,475
With Gaby as his sidekick,
549
00:26:49,475 --> 00:26:50,888
fighting with her little stick.
550
00:26:50,888 --> 00:26:53,535
Righting wrongs and singing songs.
551
00:26:53,784 --> 00:26:56,014
Being mightly all day long.
552
00:26:56,237 --> 00:26:58,506
He's Joxer, he's Joxer the Mighty.
553
00:26:58,831 --> 00:27:01,133
Oh, he's Joxer the Mighty,
554
00:27:01,133 --> 00:27:02,451
he's really tidy.
555
00:27:02,451 --> 00:27:04,102
Everybody likes him
556
00:27:04,102 --> 00:27:05,655
'cause he has a funny grin.
557
00:27:05,655 --> 00:27:08,454
Joxer! He's Joxer the Mighty!
558
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,116
Enter!
559
00:27:25,443 --> 00:27:26,960
Do you have word of Ileandra?
560
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:27,984
Yes, King Baris.
561
00:27:27,984 --> 00:27:29,562
The Princess has been
taken to Amphis
562
00:27:29,587 --> 00:27:31,052
by King Linius and
his personal guard.
563
00:27:31,077 --> 00:27:32,007
His guard?
564
00:27:32,250 --> 00:27:33,285
Why did he need soldiers?
565
00:27:33,285 --> 00:27:34,603
And where is Sarpedon?
566
00:27:36,413 --> 00:27:37,804
Prepare my horse!
567
00:27:38,021 --> 00:27:40,136
I'm going to Amphis
to get my daughter.
568
00:27:49,915 --> 00:27:51,065
Aphrodite?
569
00:27:54,425 --> 00:27:55,943
Aphrodite.
570
00:27:59,876 --> 00:28:01,868
I'd-- I'd like to talk to you.
571
00:28:03,619 --> 00:28:04,655
If you can hear me--
572
00:28:07,046 --> 00:28:09,685
Could you be any more clumsy?!
573
00:28:12,187 --> 00:28:14,463
This is like a brand-new antique.
574
00:28:15,686 --> 00:28:16,831
Aphorodite.
575
00:28:18,842 --> 00:28:21,445
You're that goody-two
shoes that hangs around my boy,
576
00:28:21,445 --> 00:28:22,703
Joxer.
577
00:28:23,031 --> 00:28:24,085
Gabrielle.
578
00:28:25,383 --> 00:28:27,554
Ah, Joxer is the reason
that I'm here.
579
00:28:28,184 --> 00:28:30,030
Look, you have got to
take the spell off of him--
580
00:28:30,030 --> 00:28:31,268
and everybody else.
581
00:28:31,685 --> 00:28:32,681
Why should I do that?
582
00:28:33,976 --> 00:28:36,046
Now, I'm sure there's a reason
why you're doing this.
583
00:28:36,046 --> 00:28:38,836
But it can't be worth breaking
up Ileandra and Sarpedon.
584
00:28:39,404 --> 00:28:40,501
They're in love.
585
00:28:41,150 --> 00:28:43,356
That is what matters
to you most, isn't it?
586
00:28:43,356 --> 00:28:45,824
Ah, gosh-- she sounds
like you, Cupid.
587
00:28:46,825 --> 00:28:47,982
Cupid--
588
00:28:49,580 --> 00:28:51,664
can you talk
her out of this?
589
00:28:51,689 --> 00:28:53,450
What's your name, little girl?
590
00:28:54,017 --> 00:28:55,062
Gabrielle.
591
00:28:55,062 --> 00:28:56,449
Gabrielle.
592
00:28:57,418 --> 00:28:59,243
Well, Gabrielle,
when the goddess of love
593
00:28:59,243 --> 00:29:01,800
decides to do something
petty and spiteful,
594
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,774
she can be a tad difficult
to reason with.
595
00:29:06,917 --> 00:29:09,059
So you're going to
let an innocent man die?
596
00:29:09,059 --> 00:29:10,479
Oh, come on!
597
00:29:10,712 --> 00:29:12,253
No one's really innocent.
598
00:29:12,832 --> 00:29:14,931
Well-- maybe you.
599
00:29:15,871 --> 00:29:18,260
Besides-- I can't break the spell.
600
00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:19,142
If I did, everyone would
601
00:29:19,142 --> 00:29:21,541
think I was pressured
into it by some mortal.
602
00:29:21,845 --> 00:29:23,120
My goddess stock
would plummet.
603
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:23,683
But--
604
00:29:23,708 --> 00:29:24,665
I gotta bail.
605
00:29:25,007 --> 00:29:28,044
Bodacious waves at Naxos.
Later.
606
00:29:31,643 --> 00:29:33,295
If I can get her
to break the spell,
607
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:34,963
can you set everything
straight again?
608
00:29:34,963 --> 00:29:35,864
Sure, but--
609
00:29:35,864 --> 00:29:37,739
there isn't anything
you can do about it.
610
00:29:38,383 --> 00:29:39,378
Oh, no.
611
00:29:40,130 --> 00:29:42,136
Get those arrows of yours ready.
612
00:29:48,611 --> 00:29:50,004
Hey, where're you taking me?!
613
00:29:58,402 --> 00:30:00,144
How could you do
this to me, Joxer?
614
00:30:00,169 --> 00:30:00,812
What?!
615
00:30:00,812 --> 00:30:02,870
How could you steal the
only woman I have ever loved?
616
00:30:03,261 --> 00:30:04,749
I didn't mean to.
617
00:30:05,476 --> 00:30:07,120
Yeah-- sure.
618
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:08,744
That's what all you
great warriors say, but
619
00:30:08,744 --> 00:30:10,657
you always have to end up
with the most beautiful women,
620
00:30:10,657 --> 00:30:12,346
don't you?
Tell me, Joxer,
621
00:30:12,346 --> 00:30:13,470
what's your secret?
622
00:30:13,675 --> 00:30:16,789
Well, I-- try to eat right,
exercise, although, uh--
623
00:30:16,826 --> 00:30:19,715
I do get a little constipated
sometimes. You know?
624
00:30:20,275 --> 00:30:23,528
Having found the accused guilty
of threatening the peace--
625
00:30:23,862 --> 00:30:26,678
I hearby sentence him to public
execution
626
00:30:27,042 --> 00:30:30,199
pubishment to be
carried out forthwith.
627
00:30:30,384 --> 00:30:31,833
Oh, ah, ah-- listen.
628
00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:33,433
Why don't we talk
about this? I um--
629
00:30:33,433 --> 00:30:34,341
we could have lunch.
630
00:30:34,341 --> 00:30:36,261
There's a great place right
near Akmar the meat man.
631
00:30:36,261 --> 00:30:38,764
Gabrielle, where are you?!
632
00:30:42,359 --> 00:30:43,278
Sarpedon, please--
633
00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:44,963
stop this insanity.
634
00:30:46,141 --> 00:30:48,260
I don't love Joxer.
I never did.
635
00:30:48,488 --> 00:30:49,724
I love you and only you.
636
00:30:50,135 --> 00:30:53,121
You would say anything to
save Joxer's life right now.
637
00:30:53,623 --> 00:30:55,311
I have seen you with him, Ileandra.
638
00:30:56,011 --> 00:30:57,167
I know you love him.
639
00:30:57,167 --> 00:30:59,313
No-- it was all a mistake.
640
00:30:59,313 --> 00:31:00,228
Wait, wait!
641
00:31:00,228 --> 00:31:01,311
I have a last request.
642
00:31:01,594 --> 00:31:02,740
I'd, um-- love to hear
643
00:31:02,817 --> 00:31:04,177
to the sound of a bell ringing.
644
00:31:04,202 --> 00:31:05,612
Call me sentimental, but, ah--
645
00:31:05,612 --> 00:31:06,626
Denied!
646
00:31:06,626 --> 00:31:08,001
What a gip--no last request.
647
00:31:08,001 --> 00:31:09,703
I'm gonna notify the
executioners' guild!
648
00:31:09,974 --> 00:31:12,581
Off with his head!
649
00:31:14,941 --> 00:31:15,565
Excuse me.
650
00:31:37,169 --> 00:31:39,236
Wait! I regret--
651
00:31:39,961 --> 00:31:42,010
that I have but
one life to give for,
652
00:31:42,929 --> 00:31:46,023
for-- whatever it is
I'm giving it for!
653
00:32:32,936 --> 00:32:34,688
You've gotta work on
your aim, my friend.
654
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:36,599
Perhaps you used the wrong end.
655
00:32:59,096 --> 00:33:00,289
For inspiration.
656
00:33:13,186 --> 00:33:14,959
Excuse me. Hello.
657
00:33:18,115 --> 00:33:19,107
I'm sorry.
658
00:33:19,132 --> 00:33:20,644
My love, for you
is still as strong.
659
00:33:20,669 --> 00:33:22,222
I would gladly die for you.
660
00:33:22,479 --> 00:33:23,668
Oh, you're so noble.
661
00:33:23,693 --> 00:33:25,184
But, would you mind moving?
662
00:33:25,209 --> 00:33:27,021
I really must watch him fight.
663
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,282
Enough of this play.
664
00:33:45,388 --> 00:33:47,464
Are you all right? What--?
665
00:33:47,464 --> 00:33:49,154
Don't even bother.
666
00:34:04,919 --> 00:34:07,485
Well-- King Linius.
667
00:34:09,199 --> 00:34:10,122
What an honor it is to meet a man
668
00:34:10,122 --> 00:34:12,124
known as the greatest
swordsman in the kingdom.
669
00:34:14,887 --> 00:34:17,536
I do hope that reputation
is not-- unwarranted.
670
00:34:22,295 --> 00:34:23,497
You've met your match.
671
00:34:28,317 --> 00:34:29,268
You're right.
672
00:34:29,513 --> 00:34:32,121
You're able to--
parry anything I--
673
00:34:32,146 --> 00:34:33,224
throw at you--
674
00:34:34,232 --> 00:34:35,539
with my left hand.
675
00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:39,568
But I'm right-handed, you see.
676
00:34:53,003 --> 00:34:53,849
Well--
677
00:34:54,182 --> 00:34:55,346
this makes it interesting.
678
00:35:04,795 --> 00:35:05,871
Missed me!
679
00:35:07,191 --> 00:35:08,766
Take the fight into the temple!
680
00:35:13,927 --> 00:35:15,190
As you wish.
681
00:35:20,495 --> 00:35:21,610
That was scary.
682
00:35:32,683 --> 00:35:34,429
Exsqueeze me!
683
00:35:34,454 --> 00:35:36,354
There's no fighting in my temple!
684
00:35:54,230 --> 00:35:56,076
That was a statue of me!
685
00:35:56,581 --> 00:35:57,584
Not anymore.
686
00:35:58,392 --> 00:35:59,510
You can end this.
687
00:36:00,684 --> 00:36:03,035
The only way to end it is
to take the spell off Joxer.
688
00:36:03,518 --> 00:36:04,361
Well?
689
00:36:04,717 --> 00:36:05,729
Dream on.
690
00:36:35,549 --> 00:36:37,972
Not my vase from Thrace!
691
00:36:37,972 --> 00:36:39,529
Take off the spell.
692
00:36:51,979 --> 00:36:53,402
Take off the spell.
693
00:36:54,193 --> 00:36:55,784
You're the goddess of love.
694
00:36:56,009 --> 00:36:57,522
Love is soft and gentle.
695
00:36:57,522 --> 00:36:59,508
It's not violent and cruel.
696
00:37:01,639 --> 00:37:03,922
You don't know much
about love, do you?
697
00:37:03,922 --> 00:37:05,343
I know it's not war.
698
00:37:05,343 --> 00:37:06,703
Now, look what they're
doing to your temple.
699
00:37:06,703 --> 00:37:07,394
All the more reason
700
00:37:07,394 --> 00:37:09,200
I don't wanna lose
my other temples.
701
00:37:09,690 --> 00:37:10,933
If you don't stop this,
702
00:37:10,933 --> 00:37:13,588
I'll take Joxer on a tour
of all your temples.
703
00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:30,047
All right, I give.
704
00:37:35,584 --> 00:37:37,560
He's the idiot full time, again.
705
00:37:37,585 --> 00:37:38,833
Where am I?
706
00:37:52,553 --> 00:37:53,622
Gabrielle.
707
00:37:55,349 --> 00:37:56,520
Thank you for everyting.
708
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:57,710
You're a real hero.
709
00:37:58,241 --> 00:38:00,074
I'm just an over-achieving sidekick.
710
00:38:01,474 --> 00:38:03,521
Remember, that love
is about trust and giving.
711
00:38:04,032 --> 00:38:06,282
It's not about--
anger and jealousy.
712
00:38:07,141 --> 00:38:09,545
She really doesn't
get it, does she?
713
00:38:09,545 --> 00:38:11,623
Maybe, she gets it
better than any of us.
714
00:38:16,712 --> 00:38:18,605
Hey-- where'd this come from?
715
00:38:19,829 --> 00:38:21,279
I'm sorry-- is this yours?
716
00:38:24,227 --> 00:38:26,228
- Goodbye.
- Congratulations.
717
00:38:28,505 --> 00:38:29,610
Are they afraid of me?
718
00:38:30,345 --> 00:38:31,298
They are.
719
00:38:32,923 --> 00:38:34,140
No, they're not.
720
00:38:34,221 --> 00:38:35,725
They're disgusted with me.
721
00:38:38,214 --> 00:38:39,103
You know--
722
00:38:40,162 --> 00:38:41,786
now I know what it's
like to be admired by
723
00:38:41,811 --> 00:38:43,148
beautiful women
and brave men.
724
00:38:43,825 --> 00:38:44,973
Now that things are
back to normal,
725
00:38:44,998 --> 00:38:46,294
I know what I am--
726
00:38:46,294 --> 00:38:47,837
I'm a big phoney.
727
00:38:48,491 --> 00:38:49,622
That's not true.
728
00:38:49,979 --> 00:38:51,056
Stop it, Gabrielle.
729
00:38:51,625 --> 00:38:53,590
You're the hero here
even I know that.
730
00:38:54,317 --> 00:38:55,628
I don't even rate great sidekick.
731
00:38:57,629 --> 00:38:59,318
Go on back to Xena.
732
00:39:00,838 --> 00:39:02,513
I don't know why I'm
hanging out with you guys.
733
00:39:03,201 --> 00:39:05,867
I don't know why I
convinced myself I ever could.
734
00:39:21,180 --> 00:39:22,107
Hi, Joxer.
735
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:24,349
Hi, Xena.
736
00:39:24,744 --> 00:39:26,308
Come to get a laugh at my expense?
737
00:39:27,213 --> 00:39:28,045
I can't blame you if you did--
738
00:39:28,045 --> 00:39:29,323
that's all I'm good for.
739
00:39:29,323 --> 00:39:31,295
Gabrielle told me all
about what happened.
740
00:39:32,174 --> 00:39:33,667
You did some
very brave things.
741
00:39:34,096 --> 00:39:35,564
Yeah, but that wasn't me.
742
00:39:35,752 --> 00:39:36,813
That's where you're wrong.
743
00:39:39,457 --> 00:39:40,400
What do you mean?
744
00:39:40,425 --> 00:39:42,795
The gods can't give us anything
that isn't in our hearts.
745
00:39:43,327 --> 00:39:45,509
Aphrodite just used
what was already there.
746
00:39:46,012 --> 00:39:48,499
The real Joxer may not be
the best swordsman around,
747
00:39:48,499 --> 00:39:50,536
but he's always had
the heart of a lion.
748
00:39:52,903 --> 00:39:54,978
You're just saying that
to make me feel better.
749
00:39:55,910 --> 00:39:57,409
You calling me a liar?
750
00:40:02,668 --> 00:40:03,557
No.
751
00:40:03,976 --> 00:40:06,905
Well, then-- like I said.
752
00:40:18,442 --> 00:40:19,416
How'd it go?
753
00:40:19,753 --> 00:40:21,001
I cheered him up.
754
00:40:21,026 --> 00:40:23,118
Good-- I hated
to see him so sad.
755
00:40:23,212 --> 00:40:24,333
You know-- now that
he knows the truth,
756
00:40:24,358 --> 00:40:26,644
I guess he'll never be as
deluded as he used to be.
757
00:40:28,861 --> 00:40:32,041
Joxer the lion-hearted
is ready for action!
758
00:40:33,398 --> 00:40:34,423
Maybe not.
759
00:40:34,448 --> 00:40:35,808
♪ Joxer the Mighty; ♪
760
00:40:35,833 --> 00:40:38,121
♪ he's very tidy. ♪
761
00:40:38,146 --> 00:40:39,995
♪ Everyone admires him. ♪
762
00:40:40,020 --> 00:40:41,824
♪ He's so handsome, it's a sin. ♪
763
00:40:41,849 --> 00:40:43,769
♪ If you're in jeopardy, ♪
764
00:40:43,794 --> 00:40:45,590
♪ don't call the cavalry. ♪
765
00:40:45,615 --> 00:40:47,161
♪ There's a better remedy. ♪
766
00:40:47,161 --> 00:40:49,097
♪ Although he doesn't
work for free! ♪
767
00:40:49,097 --> 00:40:50,777
♪ He's every man's trustee; ♪
768
00:40:50,802 --> 00:40:53,089
♪ he's every woman's fantasy. ♪
769
00:40:53,114 --> 00:40:54,519
♪ Plus, he's good with company. ♪
770
00:40:54,544 --> 00:40:56,192
♪ It's Joxer-- ♪
771
00:40:56,217 --> 00:40:58,717
♪ I'm Joxer the Mighty! ♪
772
00:41:03,459 --> 00:41:08,614
Blood, valor, and victory!
773
00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:12,754
♪ Joxer the Mighty; ♪
774
00:41:12,779 --> 00:41:14,622
♪ he's very tidy. ♪
775
00:41:14,647 --> 00:41:16,496
♪ Everyone admires him. ♪
776
00:41:16,521 --> 00:41:18,325
♪ He's so handsome, it's a sin. ♪
777
00:41:18,349 --> 00:41:20,224
♪ When things get grim ♪
778
00:41:20,248 --> 00:41:22,139
♪ he'll take it on the chin. ♪
779
00:41:22,164 --> 00:41:24,036
♪ If you're in jeopardy, ♪
780
00:41:24,060 --> 00:41:25,841
♪ caused by the enemy ♪
781
00:41:25,866 --> 00:41:27,662
♪ don't call the cavalry. ♪
782
00:41:27,687 --> 00:41:29,468
♪ There's a better remedy. ♪
783
00:41:29,493 --> 00:41:31,353
♪ Although he doesn't
work for free! ♪
784
00:41:31,378 --> 00:41:33,160
♪ He's every man's trustee; ♪
785
00:41:33,185 --> 00:41:35,177
♪ he's every woman's fantasy. ♪
786
00:41:35,202 --> 00:41:37,092
♪ Plus, he's good with company. ♪
787
00:41:37,117 --> 00:41:38,302
♪ Look out! ♪
788
00:41:38,911 --> 00:41:40,411
♪ He's Joxer-- ♪
789
00:41:40,436 --> 00:41:42,530
♪ Joxer the Mighty! ♪
790
00:41:42,554 --> 00:41:43,984
♪ Joxer-- ♪
791
00:41:44,008 --> 00:41:46,367
♪ Joxer the Mighty! ♪